“mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was…… extremely silly?”
“no, i said she was fucking goofy”
please stop reblogging this i stole this joke from my brother
i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it
SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY
Omfg.
OH MY GOD
Well, that was unexpected.
I’M SCREAMING
Well shit.
bored but not bored enough to do homework
who is tyler and what did he create
I need my glasses to find my glasses do you see my problem
You can’t even see your problem
Some people will do anything to not pay bus fare..
